I Learned How To Say Goodbye to Important Things
This has been my apartment for the last 6 years.
On my last night here, I got some thai takeout, and I sat on carpet. I’m pretty sure I’m the only unit in the whole building with carpet floors.
La Vie En Rose played from my small speakers, as I looked around.
“This apartment is shit.” I thought.
There were cracks in the bubbling drywall from mismanaged plumbing. The ceiling was chipping away. I’ve had to conquer several infestations without much help from my landlord.
But I had $80k+ in student loan debt, rent was cheap, and the location allowed me to live without a car.
It could have been easy for me to unceremoniously leave this space behind. After all, it was just another box where I slept.
Nevertheless, I teared up as I thought about the hundreds of meals I’ve cooked with zero counter space.
The closet sized bedroom that held my dreams.
The walls that witnessed the moments I started accepting myself as the queer man I am today.
This is the place where I became. I at least owed it this goodbye.
I said thank you to this place. I acknowledged that even though it wasn’t the greatest, it was a big part of my life.
I think there are a lot seasons in our lives we'd rather just forget. I'd like to move on and never think about this shit apartment ever again.
But sometimes, we need to honor every part of our story, even if it's not as shiny or bright as the image we make of ourselves in our mind.
What tough memories do you have, that you can look back on in gratitude?